MPH personal statement

I don't know how many of you know but I am currently applying for the joint DVM/MPH program at school right now. This is of course going to add an extra year and 15K to my loans but in the end I get to work with deadly diseases!

Anyway I have this personal statement that is due next week and I asked Chris for some help - this is what he came up with, it was so great I had to share it...

Hello people of the global health program, my name is Stephanie Salyer, and I just wanted to let you know that I’m totally ready to kick some ass in your program. After 9/11, the need for veterinarians in public health could not be greater. With our impressive knowledge of animal art, along with our rigorous martial arts training, a dual DVM-MPH would be able to defend our country in ways that only can be described as ‘umbilical’. Additionally, I want to let you know that I understand that MPH does not mean miles per gallon.

Second, I’m not mentally or physically handicapped in any way. That’s gotta count for something I figure. I’ve got the ability, you provide the knowledge.

Third, I’ve been told that there is a need for women in the program, as we are known as natural listeners, and listening is important for the public part.

Lastly, I did you know that I played with legos with a member of your admissions committee? Yeah I did!

Fifth, I’ve been in the top 50% percentile on my growth charts ever since I was born. I’m still there and appear to be climbing. You know what that means? You can almost guarantee that I don’t have fetal alcohol syndrome.

Sixthly, listen to this poem:

I feel the breeze about my feet
Swatches of springtime choke the air
Never before this have I felt so underwhelmed by
All that old age could stick to me – I am a piece of granite unperturbed

Language seems to come more naturally to me than anyone as you can tell, and I’ve never before known this until a ghost appeared to me a gave me a comb with this stuff written on it. Now I comb my hair with that knowledge and it appears to be just a bit more staticky. Do you need someone with staticky hair? Cause I could be it, at the very least you could stick negatively charged things to my head. So pick me!!!!